18/12/09 thurs rain 8.50pm

my story cannot be forget.. now i wish i can forget everything.. i dono why now i become like this.. life is being very miserable for me now.. what can i do to get back the happy go lucky me? i didnt feel happy anymore, i dont feel lucky anymore.. i wan back my friendship, i wan back my love i wan back my time i wan back my study.. regret for alot of things i had done..

regret with doing it with him, regret for being too friendly to him, regret for pushing him away, regret for being too relax during study time, regret for being so unfilial to mummy.. i feel so pain, all this thing keep on pushing me, stress up my mind, happiness is leaving me.. i dono how to be happy anymore.. once i have spare time, things jus easily got up to my mind.. all those unhappy thing, what can i do to get happiness back? arent im a easily pleased person but y now i feel nothing can make me happy?

i wish i can lost all my memory, i wish i can.. if u reli wanted me to live lonely forever, pls, let me lost all my memory n ill stay by myself..

06/12/2009 12.54am Sunday

06/12/2009 12.54am Sunday

真不知道自己想要怎样。
考试要到了，还这么得轻松。
会遭到天处罚的。

好像谈恋爱了，觉得一切令我失去斗志都是因为少了异性爱。
到底要如何才会有桃花呢？看来要到庙里去拜拜了，求桃花源啊。
我要求不多，不吸烟，少喝酒， 少赌博，会游泳，会骑车，有经济能力，有学问，好看，高....
够了吧你，也不看看自己是什么货色，在这里胡言乱语就好了，到外面至少要留点面子啊，
自作多情的家伙，没用，笨蛋，自以为是，嚣张， 狗眼看人低，丑，懒惰................

希望一切都可以平安的过去，不要有太大的起伏。

新生活要开始了，你不要再自暴自弃了，有自信的女人最有魅力，别在浑浑噩噩的过日子的。
前面的路还有好长好远，你真的要这样继续过下去吗？